My Way or...

When I was about 15 years old, I came home from school on a Friday night to my Mom rushing me to pack an overnight bag and get in the Suburban so that we could go.  I didn't understand the need to leave so suddenly, but what really bothered me about it was that my parents didn't even consider that I might have had plans or whether I would like to go.  It really ticked me off and it took me the entire 6 hour drive to St. George plus a half hour of sulking in the pool before I could enjoy the trip.  I felt better the next day, but it was hard to get over.

I like knowing what is coming up so that I can mentally prepare to exert energy.  I have found that it is very difficult for me to just do something without time to prepare.  Especially if it involves taking me out of my comfort zone.

Well, today I could have been the same little girl.  Except that I am much more adept (I hope) at hiding my irritation.  I had a crazy day.  We transplanted the lettuce--in hopes that it will grow real lettuce heads with more space--and planted tomatoes until 11:30, then I nursed baby, then I fed the kids lunch, put J and E to bed, then I fed myself lunch, fed baby lunch and then spent my "quiet time" working on the newsletter for B's school.  With a tight deadline on that creeping up, D called to ask if I wanted to go camping on Thursday.  In that moment of stress, I had absolutely no desire to go camping.  Camping is SO MUCH WORK!!!  I didn't want to think about menu planning, grocery shopping, packing, laundry, how to entertain baby. Camping is like taking my current life and having me do everything I usually do, while taking away all conveniences and adding more difficulties, like supervised bathroom trips for all the kids, dirty faces, hands, dishes, etc.  The crazy thing is that I like camping with my family.  However this time, we are going with some other people.  We are friends, and I like them a lot.  But, I am not quite comfortable around them.  I am definitely not comfortable around the husband, and while I like the wife a lot, I am slightly intimidated by her, and A LOT by him.

I know that I shouldn't care what they will be thinking of how I camp, and where my kids are, what I let them do, etc.  but the idea of having to make small talk and keep my temper for 24 hours, is super daunting right now.

It will be fun, and I know D and the kids will have a blast, but right now, all I want to do is climb in bed, pull the covers up to my ears and pretend that I have no responsibilities to anyone at all.  Except that I'm not very good at lying to myself...

Simplify

I'm trying very hard to simplify.  So, this weeks goals are:

Go to bed by 10:30.

Get up at 5:30, scripture study and exercise.

Eat meals sitting down.

One, homemade sugar per day.  That means one serving, one brownie/cookie/etc.  No store bought sugar.

That is it.  I'll try to report next week.

Also, wish me luck!  We've been sick and Derek's having knee surgery on Wednesday.  Last time that was really hard on me and I'm already feeling depleted.

New Years Resolutions

Ah...it's that time of year again. And, I'm going to try and tone it down a bit.

There are soooo many things that I would like to accomplish this year.  But I will focus on only a few. (I'll try anyway...)

Physical
Develop healthy eating habits.  Start by counting calories and eating more vegetables.
Exercise 5 days per week.
Reach a healthy weight.

Mental
Write in journal/personal blog once a week.
Do one present and one past family blog per week.
Take more photos of daily life

Social
*Be more involved at Brooklyn's school.  Newsletter on time each remaining month of the year.
*Be a better friend.  Listen rather than talk.

Personal
Accomplish 1 personal progress goal per week and one project every two months.
Pray night and morning
Read scriptures daily

Family
Read to my children daily.
Be present with Brooklyn when she is home from school
Preschool twice per week
Date nights with Derek.

Okay, that is already a lot. But I do feel that it is doable.  It will just take some work.
I am excited.  I know in a week, it will be much harder, but I can do it.  I am made of strong stuff.