Saturday, June 22, 2013

#46 Clean the Couch

Yay!  Just in time for baby's arrival, we have the couch and rocker all looking good.  


Thursday, May 23, 2013

#94

Get a Pedicure

We went for a pedicure in lieu of a baby shower.  It was lots of fun, and I like having painted toes since I can't bend that far myself right now.

#52

Go to Wisconsin
This was the total round trip mileage.  We had a great time!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Fat?

"I think I'm fat." My six, almost seven-year-old blurted out one night as we were getting pajamas on.  After a moment of stunned silence, my husband asked her why she thinks that.  And she replied that her tummy is bigger than ... other people's.  She wouldn't tell us which people, and finally copped out  by saying Dad and Mom.  I'm almost positive that her statement is a cop out since I am 8--almost 9-- months pregnant, so my tummy is bigger than most.

I'm not sure what brought all this on.  We have been hanging out with her many girl cousins while on vacation, many of whom are very petite and have more age and height on their side than she does.  I don't know if that is what caused her reflections on this or if she's been noticing/worrying for a while comparing herself to friends at school.

However, I do know that I haven't been a great example of positive body image for her.  I don't often like the way I look, and will have a fair amount of weight to lose after this baby is born.  I also want to be healthy and happy with my own body, but it is a daily struggle.  So...how do I lose the negative attitude and love my body, while still acknowledging that I want and need to improve it?  How do I teach my daughters and sons (and myself) that being fit/healthy is important, without pushing to the extreme and making it all-important?

Focus on healthy eating?  Yet I don't want to have sweets be forbidden or rewards, but a fun treat to enjoy.

Focus on maintaining a healthy body through exercise?  Yet I don't want her to go crazy there either.

Focus on the joys of having a healthy body and all the things it allows us to do? This seems good, but how to do it?

Focus on NOT comparing my body to some unachievable standard of beauty and rather on becoming my best?  This seems very important, but how do i teach my daughters to do this when i struggle with it daily?  How do I figure this one out?  What is my best and at what point should I be satisfied with my level of fitness?  Without devoting excessive amounts of time (seriously, you could spend several hours each day--I'm talking over four...

Focus on the fact that the body is only half of me and not neglecting the spirit that goes with it?  Keeping the fact in the forefront of my mind that I am a daughter of God, and that beauty is more than my body but rather what I use my body to accomplish while I am here on earth?

It seems that I need a combination of all of these things.  As much as I would like to say that looks don't matter to me, that they are not important , it is simply not true.  Nor do I think it should be.  I want to have a healthy body.  I want to be at a healthy weight.  I'd like to be physically fit and have better eating habits.  But..I also don't want to make that my main or only focus in life.

I can't afford to give up hours a day to be in top physical shape.  That wouldn't be fair to my kids, my husband or myself.  I don't think it wise to jump on every healthy eating fad/bandwagon that comes along.  I can't always control every aspect of my body (especially during pregnancy.).

So.

What can I do?

I WILL do my best to instill confidence in my children (especially my daughters) about their bodies as gifts from Heavenly Father.

I can be grateful for my body and health.

I can speak positively about the way I look, and acknowledge progress as it comes.

I can make progress in taking care of my body.

I can nourish my body and put only good things in it...but wait, perhaps this would be best.

I can think of my body as a temple.

Temples are well cared for.  The grounds are beautifully kept.  This requires work!  Exercise and grooming are akin to grounds keeping and cleaning maintenance.  This is a very important part of keeping the temples beautiful.  Yet, it does not go on 24 hours a day.  It is not the main focus when one visits, that would distract from the purpose of the temple.

Temples are constructed of high quality materials.  Not to excess; not every surface is covered in gold or precious stones, but they are excellent quality.  My food choices can echo this.  My family's diet should be based on healthy options, that are also tasty and not exorbitant.

Temples are beautiful in their simplicity, but are not devoid of decoration or ornament.  Paintings and curtains adorn the walls and windows.  And there are beautiful light fixtures and furnishings that are still utilizable.  That is how I can model our dress/hair/makeup etc.  All work together to compliment the whole, without being excessive or overbearing.

So, after all of that, I guess my job is to teach myself and my family to view their bodies as the Temples they are, and to care for them accordingly.

A scripture to memorize... 1 Corinthians 3:16, "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?"

And since I know that the most important teaching is one by example, I can and WILL start by trying to believe these things about myself, today.  I can learn to treat my own body as a temple, and through my example, teach my children to treasure their bodies as well.   Hopefully this will help build confidence and security despite the image obsessed world we live in.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Blank Space

I just read the description of myself on the blog here.  It is true.  My life is a shambled mishmash of things.  I hate describing myself.  The empty space waiting or me to tell succinctly, yet wittily, how I view myself.  This should be easy, I think to myself.  After all, I know what/who I am...don't I?

This past year has been really difficult for me in this respect.  I have been exhausted by the myriad of responsibilities that accompany the care of five humans, most of which directly rely on my "talents" (ie: grunt labor) for their very basic survival needs.  I do all of this while trying to be a friend, learn new technology, and manage my church calling/s.  Add to that the pressures of school involvement for my six-year-old, preschool for my three-year-old, and trying to harness the incredible brain power/physical energy needs of my toddler boy.  And on top of this, I want to feel like I do something.  I want to know that I am at least one thing besides a really underpaid maid/nanny.  Yet all the DIY or cooking or photography I try ends up unfinished because of other more urgent demands on my time.  And to add to this, I want to satisfy my vanity a little bit.  I want to look nice.  Fashionably aware, without being over-run by trends, but not missing the boat; physically fit, without starving, extreme dieting or exercising until I die; and the ability to give a genuine smile and say "I'm great!" when someone takes the time to ask.

And yet...I find that too often the smile feels false.  Far more than I'd like, something/everything is not great.  My husband tells me (and I tell myself) that I expect too much.  That I try to do too much. It is true.  I know that.  But tell me, what is there to cut out?

I AM ultimately responsible for the feeding/watering/clothing/washing/teaching of all five (soon to  be six) of us.  I don't begrudge this.  In fact, I am genuinely happy to do it.  I have chosen this as my life's main work and it brings me a lot of joy.  But, it takes a lot of T-I-M-E and, in even shorter supply, energy.

I AM going to be an active participant in my children's education.  Period.  Oh yeah, and I did cut out being a room parent this year, luckily there were plenty of party-throwers available and anxious for the job!

I AM going to try my best to magnify my church calling.  Lots of work it may be, but I made the commitment long ago to give my best to God, so that's that.  And, I'm becoming a much better delegator.  So I feel like I'm cutting here where I can.

So what does that leave?  Me.  Figuring out what to fill in that blank personal description space that is actually only about me.  And I tell you, I don't know what to do.  By the time I have a moment to even consider filling it in, I am so exhausted and frustrated that the space looks bigger, blanker, and more daunting than before.

And yet, I have a nagging feeling that until I can confidently fill that space, even with only a single sentence that's purely about me, that my smile will continue to feel a little bit false.